Texture Discrimination?? Or Defeatist Mindset??

Okay y'all.  If you follow any of the popular natural hair blogs, I'm sure you've heard by now about the video titled, "So Over The Natural Community & Texture Discrimination," by popular YouTuber Jouelzy.  Essentially, Jouelzy is arguing that YouTube content creators with a kinkier hair texture will never be as popular as YouTubers with looser textures because that is what the majority of those in the natural hair community prefer to look to for information and inspiration.  From what I was able to gather, Jouelzy feels like she should be more of a household name in the community because of the size of her subscriber base and the quality of the content she produces.  On one hand, I can understand that.

I am a YouTube content creator myself, so I understand how frustrating it can be when you spend three and half hours shooting and reshooting footage for a video, then another three sitting in front of your computer or laptop cutting and rearranging tracks, adding background music, voice overs, picture in picture effects, captions, and not to mention creating custom thumbnail images in an entirely different program, just to watch it sit on the internet and get an average of 20 views a month.  That can be seriously disheartening.  And one can't help but to wonder what the reason for the seemingly disinterested audience might be.

But there is a fundamental part of her argument that I can't help but take issue with.  By arguing that she isn't as popular as she feels she deserves to be because of her hair texture, Jouelzy comes off a bit defeatist to me.  There seems to be an underlying assumption that people are intentionally avoiding videos that feature kinky-haired or 4c naturals.  I just don't think that's true.  It is up to the YouTuber to create content engaging and eye catching enough, and on trend with what people are searching for to be successful.  If the hot style of the month is a 3-strand-twisted-bantu-knot-out and you're posting "How To Do a Two Strand Twist" tutorials, the vast majority of natural hair-related traffic will not be seeing your video.  There is quite a bit that goes into optimizing a video for maximum views.

Besides all the technical skills it requires for one to make visually appealing videos, there is also a personality element.  To her credit, Jouelzy does address this briefly toward the end of her video.  She states that she understands that her personality may not be compatible with many people, but essentially, it shouldn't matter because of the quality of the content she makes.  To an extent, there is some truth to her statement, but I think it downplays how important it is to be able to connect with a wide range of personality types if you want to appeal to an extremely broad audience.  Jouelzy has what I would describe as an "in your face" personality.  She speaks rapidly and loudly.  Sometimes that makes it difficult for me to understand just what she is saying.  She also has no problem using profanity in her videos.  These characteristics may be why she doesn't appeal to as many people as she thinks she should.  I can't presume to know for sure, but that is my experience.  I enjoy the content she produces, but I simply can't subscribe to her because he personality is way too much for me.  I'm pretty sure there are other natural women out there who feel similarly.

Then there is also the motivation factor to consider.  People like to support YouTubers who they feel genuinely care about connecting with and providing good content for them.  If you say that the only reason you started your channel was to receive free products, people won't feel like you're posting for them, you're posting for companies.  And whether the opinions expressed in the review are honest or not, if the motivations are perceived as being dishonest, you've pretty much already shot yourself in the foot.

There have been a ton of response videos posted on YouTube since Jouelzy originally uploaded her rant, and some of the responses have lead me to think there isn't really a discrimination issue so much as there may be one of a defeatist mindself. Kinksgalore, another YouTuber, stated in her response that people don't want to see "thin, kinky hair" like she has.  I take issue with that because I, myself, have very thin kinky hair.  But I never wear weaves, wigs, or extensions of any kind, and only flat iron my hair a couple times a year.  I'm PROUD of what grows from my head and that radiates from me.  My followers don't seem to have a problem with MY thin hair.  They celebrate it along with me because I see no need to hide it, and would rather learn to work with it to make it thrive.

At the end of the day, I think we can all achieve whatever we desire to.  And if 80k+ followers aren't enough for Jouelzy, she can kindly send them my way!!!

"I Would Rather $$Buy$$ My Fabulous..."

Who doesn't like retail therapy?  I know it's typically deemed a woman thing, but seriously.  Can all men really claim that spending money on things you want for no other reason than, "it made me feel better" is something they never do?  I don't think so.  And even though this is a blog dedicated to a decidedly feminine issue, I think in this particular instance, we can all understand the issue at hand to a certain extent.  Even the frugal among us understand retail therapy.

That's why I'm currently grappling with something said to me.  I should be able to understand it, but I'm seriously having trouble reconciling myself to accept it. The it in question is something a coworker recently said to me.  I was walking past her while she was having a conversation with someone else and revealed that she just spent $500.00 on some hair bundles and is currently waiting for them to arrive.  I was completely flabbergasted!  Flummoxed!  Amazed!  Even when I had a relaxer, as the woman in question does, I simply couldn't understand spending that kind of money for such a "shallow" reason.

I no longer think that spending money one one's self for reasons of beauty, self esteem, and self image is shallow, but where is the line drawn?  When does it go from retail therapy to exorbitant and unnecessary spending?  When I heard my coworker's plans to have this "fabulous" hair installed so she can say, "I woke up like this" on Instagram, it honestly made me sad.  I told her as politely as I could that there is no need for her to spend that kind of money on hair of all things when she has plenty of strands growing directly from hr head.  She responded that her hair "can't grow past [her] shoulders."  I'm pretty sure most of you reading this know that that isn't true.  Just about everyone has genes that allow hair to grow to at least mid back length.  Perpetually shoulder length hair is a tell tale sign of self inflicted damage!  Change your hair habits, you change your hair!  When I voiced this, I was just met with "Girl, ain't nobody got time. It takes too long."

That's why I'm having such trouble understanding the mentality that says it makes more sense to deplete my finances for someone else's hair rather than put in a little effort and grow my own for free.  You can either spend over $500.00 (because I'm sure she still has to pay for the install) and have "nice" hair for maybe a few months and have your own hair stay the same length year after year, or you can save that money and have your own hair getting longer and longer with each passing year.  I just don't understand what would make someone choose the first option other than believing that the second option isn't really possible.  It's unimaginable to me that someone would make that decision for any other reason.

But it is possible.  I'm living proof!  I was the girl with thin, damaged, broken off, shoulder length hair.  I knew nothing about proper hair care.  I thought my hair was the length it was because of my genetics, not what I was doing and NOT doing to it.  The state of one's hair, no matter how poor or desirable, is the fault/responsibility of none other than the person whose scalp it grows from.  Ladies, please don't concede defeat before you've even made an effort to improve the state of your hair.  It CAN and WILL grow as long as you'd like it to.  Just give it the treatment it needs to get there.

Good Hair = Good Hair Habits, Bad Hair = Bad Hair Habits

This post is going to be a bit of a rant, I warn you now.  If you don't like opinion posts/rants, feel free to navigate away from this page, I won't be upset. Now that we have that out of the way, lets jump right in.

It's no secret that as a general rule, black women struggle with their hair.  Length retention is almost nonexistent for many black women and stagnant length is something most of us just come to accept as a condition of our genetic predisposition.  Basically, black people don't have "good hair" genes, or so most of us have been told.  We believe that our DNA dictates that we will have short, unhealthy, dry, brittle, unattractive, undesirable hair for life and there's nothing we can do about it.  I myself can even remember telling a white classmate in middle school that I wished I had hair as long as hers, but would likely never achieve it because black hair just doesn't grow past a certain length.

Nowadays, I know better, and so do many black women but the majority of us still hold on to those misconceptions that lead us to have negative self images where our hair was concerned, and convinced us that only certain lucky black girls and mixed kids got "good" aka desirable hair.  The majority of us still believe that black hair, in its natural and unprocessed state, is only acceptable on little girls below school age.  Our little boys rarely even get the opportunity to grow their own hair, being conditioned to believe there is something wrong or inappropriate about males who allow their hair follicles to actually do what they are programmed for and produce hair.

To me, all of these things serve as a reminder of the inferiority complex ingrained in people of color the world over, since the transatlantic slave trade.  I know many people the frequent hair care blogs, forums, and websites hate when others draw connections between slavery and the current state of black hair across the African diaspora, but if the shoe fits...  We were taught that everything about us, from our skin color, hair type, facial features, spiritual practices, clothing, and even language was wrong and less than.  When these lies were internalized, the outcome was the mistreatment of not only our hair but our entire bodies, as well as a loss of knowledge for how to properly care for them.  So instead of focusing on water, aka moisture, as a key component to a healthy hair care regimen, we put excessive emphasis on greases and oil based products that actually do nothing to truly moisturize our beautiful and delicate strands, only sealing it in or out.  Instead of being patient, loving, and gentle with our hair, we manhandle it, believing that this rough treatment is necessary for our "rough," "tough," and "nappy" hair.  And to top it off, we further abuse our tresses by frying them with flat irons, blow dryers, and curling irons.

After being denied true moisture, literally ripped from our heads, and fried to oblivion, it's no wonder most women of color have very short, brittle, damaged hair.  I didn't even mention all the high tension, neglect fostering styles we like to wear that make us feel like we can go weeks, sometimes months, without doing a thing to our real strands, like cornrows, braids, weaves, and wigs.  We are so convinced that beautiful, healthy, long hair is only a matter of genetics that we completely remove the human element from the equation.  We don't want to admit that we may actually be at fault for most, if not all of our hair woes.  We want to believe that we can chronically neglect, abuse, and mistreat our hair, and still have it grow long and thrive.  Sorry to tell you, but because afro textured hair is the most delicate of all known hair types, how it is treated day in and day out will determine its health and length over time, not DNA.

Being related to someone who is of Native American, Latin, Asian, or European decent does not make an individual any better than someone who claims nothing other than Black or African ancestry.  And it certainly doesn't guarantee "pretty" or "good" or easily managed hair.  Someone may be born with an aesthetically pleasing curl pattern, but if those responsible for their hair care don't properly moisturize it, rip it when then attempt to comb, constantly fry it with hot tools, put too much tension on it from tight braided styles, and neglect it for weeks at a time, it will visually reflect all the bad treatment it receives.  That's when the more judgmental among our community take the opportunity to call someone's baby "nappy headed" or say they have "bad hair."  I'm certain most of you reading this would be surprised at the complete 180 a persons hair can do when bad practices are thrown out and replaced with good ones.  If you want good hair, employ good hair care habits.  If you think you have bad hair, take a look at how you treat it then ask yourself if it's really your hair, or its owner that's bad.

I Love My Hair

My hair is healthy. My hair is sexy. My hair is beautiful. My hair is alluring. My hair can be challenging. My hair is rewarding. My hair is wondrous. My hair is natural. My hair is a labor of love. My hair is unique.

As you can tell, I could go on and on about my hair. At this point in my hair journey, I've come to have such love, pride, and admiration for my hair. I never knew it was possible. Who knew a little water, sealant, and delicate handling could make such a tremendous difference. I can honestly say going natural indirectly lead me to change my major, setting me on a path I never could have predicted. I've actually sat in the mirror and cried because I was so in awe and thankful for my hair. Yes. I've cried. Compared to some other journeys, my road has been pretty smooth. Thus far I haven't had any major setbacks. I know my hair very well, I don't have any issues retaining length, and people ask me about my hair all the time. I can honestly say I love it.

A few weeks ago I was at work with my hair in a high puff off to the side. I happened to walk past a mirror and stopped for a second when I caught my reflection. I fluffed my hair a little bit and said aloud, "I love my hair." My manager, who happened to be walking with me shook his head and told me I'm conceited. Offended, I asked him exactly how am I conceited and he said, "you just said you love your hair," as if that was all the explanation required. I don't know about you, but I think that was a pretty stupid assessment on his part. How exactly does loving something about one's self make one conceited? In my opinion, it's not an unhealthy love or obsession, more like a passion. I don't denigrate others while lifting myself up. I try to help people as much as I can. I keep a generally upbeat attitude. So I don't see how conceit even could have been perceived from my statement. I can't love a part of myself?

Maybe my manager said that because he's not used to seeing black women who actually have a healthy relationship with their hair. Maybe he thought he might come off as joking. Maybe he's just a tool. Either way, I thought about it and there's no reason for me to feel bad or stuck up because I proudly proclaimed my love for my hair. It's not going to change any time soon and there's nothing wrong with it.

Just thought I'd make that PSA for anyone out there who might be wondering how they come off when talking about your hair. If you truly love it, that will come out when you talk about it whether you say it explicitly or not. And if the people around you don't know how to take it, forget about them. So long as they don't have control over your wash schedule or your product selection, they can go kick rocks. That's just my opinion. :-)

Bantu Knot Out Fail

How To Give Me A Meaningless Compliment

An easy way to give me a compliment that means absolutely nothing to me is to give the same one, over and over again, no matter what.  I appreciate honesty much more than flattery.  In fact, flattery quite annoys me when over done.  If all I hear from a person Monday through Sunday is how beautiful, gorgeous, adorable, etc I am, it kind of takes away from the genuineness of it. If I get forty-five minutes of sleep Thursday night, and have to struggle to stay upbeat, positive, and awake all day Friday, chances are I don't look as good that day as I may have on all the others.  But if that's all I hear from you, it sounds like bull shit.

A compliment should never become a standard response.  Every woman on this planet has her good days as well as her bad days.  No one looks perfect 24/7.  Now I'm not saying a woman has to be completely done up and dressed to the 9's to look good.  As Drake said, "Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on: That's when you're the prettiest."  I totally agree.  There's something about a relaxed female in her own element that is very attractive.  But no one looks good all the time.  And to try to convince me I do will just make me not want to hear anything you have to say regarding my appearance.  Just keep it real.  If I look good, tell me so.  If not, don't lie.

...I'm done.  Just thought I would put that out there for anyone who might care.  That is all...

Get Your Edges In Check Before You Try To Look Like You Know Som'n About Hair

As always, leave your comments and follow the blog. Thanks, loves. ^_^