16 Months Natural

Looking back, the decision to go natural was not a well thought out one for me. I happened to stumble upon the natural hair YouTube community and decided the best way for me to grow my hair long (something I've always wanted) would be to stop relaxing my hair and let it grow naturally. I mean, it makes sense right? Stop breaking down the chemical bonds in your hair and let it grow the way your genetics dictate it should in order to give it the best chance of making it to long lengths. But I didn't stop to think about whether or not I might be able to continue relaxing my hair and still grow it long. Now I wonder if I had known it was possible to grow long relaxed hair if I would have taken the plunge to go natural.

In some ways I think having really short unhealthy processed hair made it easier for me to do the big chop. I wasn't cutting that much length off and I convinced myself that I couldn't deal with blending the two textures anymore, even though I'd only been doing it for about 4 or 5 months. Initially my "transition" started due to pure laziness and lack of finances. I didn't want to give myself perms anymore and I didn't have the money to have them done professionally on a regular basis. So I invested in a really good flat iron and heated my hair into submission on a weekly basis.

But when I learned about healthy hair practices through YouTube I got really excited thinking about myself being surrounded by big, fluffy, healthy, natural hair and the flat iron was basically left to collect dust. Then, 16 months ago I sprayed my hair down with water, grabbed the brand new pair of hair shears I'd bought a week before and started hacking off my relaxed ends. I asked for help from my family but everyone pretty much refused. Whether their refusal was due to fear or uncertainty, I can't say. But I felt really angry and slighted. Couldn't they see that I needed help and couldn't do it alone? Didn't they care? No matter what the case was, I was on my own.

The final results were not... let's just say they weren't pretty. I was really excited that I would be able to do wash and go styles and convinced myself that my choppy cut would look better once my hair was actually done. And it did help but I knew I was in desperate need of a professional cut to even out the areas I couldn't see and the overall shape of my hair. Four months later I did just that and went to a Deva certified salon in DC to have my hair cut.

Since then my hair has grown out significantly and so had my mind. I no longer blame my relaxer for the poor state of my hair, but to my own lack of knowledge and maintenance. For some reason I thought I shouldn't have to really do anything to my hair for it to grow and be beautiful. Now I know better. And I have a greater sense of pride in who I am as an individual and a black woman. I recognize and celebrate the fact that my hair type is unique to my race and don't let negative opinions affect me anymore. I understand that not everyone can see the beauty in natural Afro-textured hair, and even if they can that doesn't mean natural hair is suitable to their lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with that. I've learned to let others be.

I've learned that "good hair" doesn't only belong to people of mixed race or of Latin or Native American decent. Good hair is any hair that is healthy and well maintained. Even people with loose ringlet curls can have bad hair if they don't know how to take care of it. Trust me, I've seen it for myself.

Those are just some of the things I've learned on my journey thus far. When I decided to embrace my natural hair and learn how to properly care for it I never could have imagined how many other things that decision would expose me to. And I'm so glad I stuck with it. I look forward to the next sixteen months of my journey, retaining more length, and learning more things.

I May Be Changing My Hair Goal

When I first found out that Black women could, and regularly do, grow exceptionally long hair, I was floored.  No one in my family has really long hair and all the Black female celebrities with long hair use weave or extensions of some kind (In fact, most female celebrities period wear some kind of hair extensions, but that's an altogether different topic.) so you can hardly blame me for buying into the hype.  Add in the fact that my mother never really took the greatest care of our (me and my sisters') hair, I was almost doomed from the start to accept the "fact" that my hair couldn't grow long, doomed to accept that only the select few Black women blessed with "good" or "pretty" hair could grow it long without a problem.

But thank the Creator I've been enlightened and no longer buy into any of that BS.  Now I know that Black women are no different from women of other races.  Some of us have slow growing hair, some have hair that grows very quickly.  Some have an anagen (growth) phase of a few years, and some of us have growth phases that can last up to ten years or even longer.  The one uniting factor between Black women and women of all other ethnicities concerning long hair is that effort must be put in for the results we want to achieve to become a reality.  Whether someone's hair is stick straight or full on nappy, you have to work with what you have in order to grow it long.  The problem is, most Black women don't want to put in the work, or simply don't know what that work should consist of.

How many people do you know that can honestly say they know the difference between the sound of a brush or comb passing safely through their hair, and the sound of individual strands breaking?  How many people know the difference between mechanical (and therefore preventable) hair damage, heat damage, and breakage due to dryness?  My guess is, unless you come from a family that has a strong ethic for hair care, you don't know that many.  I want to change that.  And not just with a few people here and there.  I want to change it on a large scale.  I want it to become the norm for Black women to be seen with long, big, natural hair.

And I think the best way to go about doing that is to lead by example.  You may or may not know that my end goal with my natural hair journey is to grow my hair long enough to touch my waist when stretched.  But recently, I thought, "Why not go longer?"  The fact of the matter is, the distance from the top of my head to my waist is not that long, due to my height.  I'm under five feet tall, so my torso is drastically shorter than those of most other women, so my hair doesn't have to grow as long to reach my natural waist.  Well, 18 inches isn't exactly anything to sneer at, but you catch my drift.

I'm thinking I may change my hair goal to hip length hair, just for the hell of it.  I'm super short, so I think I should be able to manage that.  Unless my growth cycle is set to some abysmally short number of years, I think I can handle having hip length hair, because that means it would probably hang somewhere around my waist when dry, which would be suuuuper hot!!!  What do you think?

Closing Out My First Year With Natural Hair

If you had asked me two years ago if I'd ever "go natural," I don't really know what I would have said.  Wearing my hair any way other than straight was not something I had ever considered.  "Curls?  What curls?  My hair is nappy," is probably how I would have responded if someone had tried to convince me I had curly hair.  But the little curly, wiggly locks of hair the sprout from my head would argue otherwise.  And the same can be said for a lot of Black women who have never worn their hair in its natural state.  The fact that they actually have curly hair would probably amaze them.

Some people try to argue that there is such a thing as non-curly, plain ole nappy hair.  I disagree.  In the past 11 months since I cut off my relaxed ends, I've learned that the further hair moves from stick straight strands, the more inherent curl there is.  Without the hair curling in some way, there wouldn't be all the glorious texture that Black hair is known for.  They may not be perfectly shaped "S" curls, but they are indeed curls.  What else can you call them?  Certainly not naps, because that would mean short sleeping sessions.  And no one grows short sleeping sessions from their heads.

As I get close and closer to my one year anniversary, I just can't help but feel a little saddened that more women of my race don't try to know and understand their hair without chemically altering it.  I understand that this is something that has be ingrained into our culture for generations now, and isn't likely to change on a mass scale any time soon, but I still wish that wasn't the case.  Our little girls are accepted with their natural hair, but our grown women aren't.  And our women are often discouraged and ostracized for wanting to wear their natural hair.

If I can make a wish for my anniversary, it's for more Black women to stop hating natural hair so much, and instead embrace it.  Natural hair isn't for slaves.  Natural hair isn't for poor people.  Natural hair isn't for overly Afro-centric people.  It's for everyone.  Because it's what you were born with.  It's how you were made.  No matter how many times you slap that chemical on your roots, they will keep growing in with the texture your genetics determine you are supposed to have.  It's just who you are.

Now, there's nothing wrong with switching up your style and wearing your hair straight, blue, purple, or pink.  But to permanently alter your hair to be so is... just a little sad to me.

Random Hair Thoughts

10 months, 1 week, 4 days natural.

I love my hair... I really do.  But I've just become so bored with it the past couple of days.  Even though I look at my reflection and acknowledge all the progress I've made with my hair since my big chop, I'm still impatient for more length.  As cute as I think twist outs look on me, I just can't stop myself from thinking they would be cuter if my hair was longer.  Waist length hair is a lofty goal and an immense amount of patience is required to reach it.

My hair goals and aspirations have grown and developed since I began this "journey."  At first it was just that I wanted long hair.  Then, I wanted long, healthy hair.  And finally, I chose a specific length to go for, one that would be sure to impress any who saw the glory of my crown, waist length hair.  After setting that goal, I clarified what it meant by saying I wanted waist length hair when stretched.  I can't imagine having waist length wash n go curls, but then again, why not?

I am still excited to see what my hair can accomplish with consistent good care and love, but I just wish I could fast forward the next three years to see what my hair will be in that time.  Growing natural hair is a tedious process.  I have never been so meticulous as to measure my hair every month to determine my monthly growth rate, but now I almost feel like I should.  At least that would give me a tangible measurement of my progress that I can look at month to month to determine what it working and what might not be working.

I've decided that I want to have my hair trimmed by the time I reach one year natural because it will have been a full eight months since I had it professionally cut by someone who knows how to approach curly hair.  At first I thought about flat ironing my hair to get at any extremely uneven, split, or knotted ends.  But then I threw that thought out for fear of heat damage.  Yes, having my hair straight would give me a more accurate cut (probably), but supreme accuracy isn't really necessary for someone who exclusively wears their hair in textures styles.  So the risk just doesn't seem worth it to me.  Like I said, I love my hair and I'll be damned if I go in for a simple trim and end up having to cut off more of my hair than I initially thought because I damaged it with extreme heat in the process.

...To some, my obsession with my hair and healthy hair care practices may seem a bit (or a lot) strange.  And I can understand that.  After all, hair, like every other part of the human body, gets worn down with time and can't remain the same after years and years of being on your head.  But growing my hair to my waist is something I have to do for myself.  I told myself that Black women are no different from the women of any other race, and can grow long, healthy, beautiful, natural hair if only they care for it in a way that will allow them to do so.  So I have to prove it with my own hair.

I already know a lot of the people in my life won't believe my hair can grow down to my waist until the day it does.  And I want to see each and every one of their faces when once that happens.  Especially everyone who was anti-natural hair.  That includes family members.  I already know I'm going to be hearing how pretty and "good" my hair is from the very same people that implied it was nothing more than nappy.  So judge me if you will.  Call me vain, shallow, obsessed, whatever you think fits me.  But three years from now, when my hair is longer than most, if not all, of the Black women you know, who will have the last laugh??