Lies About Black Hair Care

The Word of the Day

Today's word is boscage.
Pronounced [BOS-kij].
A noun.
Definition: A mass of trees or shrubs

China Mieville, The City & the City
"Plunging along a narrow path thick-set on each side with leafy boscage, Paul caught sight of the two retreating figures a few yards only in front of him."

BOV #4: I've Been Slacking

A quick vlog.  I haven't been taking the best possible care of my hair and just wanted talk about why that is and how I want to improve. 9 months, 3 days natural. :)

My New Little Friend :)

Just had to share this adorable little pink robot ring I picked up yesterday.  I think it's so cute how he looks like a little nerd!!  Necktie, glasses, pocket and all.  Want one?? 7 Eleven, $1.99. ^__^

If This Makes Me a Bitch, So Be It

Remember my post about letting people go when continuing to have them in your life brings more negativity than positivity?  When I originally wrote that post, I was going through some things in my life that led me to believe continuing a friendship with a specific person was causing me undue stress and frustration to the point that I no longer wanted to have anything to do with him.  We've only really been friends for around a year now but ups and downs we've dealt with almost seem like those typically dealt with couples in long term relationships.  Every time I try to point out that the volatility in our relationship is unhealthy and honestly not worth carrying on in my opinion, I'm met with opposition and confusion.  And somehow, I allow myself to be convinced that perhaps I'm wrong and our friendship is worth saving.

But every time, after a period of calm, the storm comes back even more ferocious than before.  And I'm convinced yet again that no "friendship" on the planet is worth the stress, guilt, frustration, and anger that this relationship brings me.  Besides the fact that it's bad for my mental and emotional health, I no longer have the energy, willpower, or appetence to continue this roller coaster ride.  And I've made so very clear to the person in question.  However, it would seam that my actions and my words haven't been lining up.  Even though I've clearly stated that this person and I are no longer "friends," we've continued communication with each other as though we are.  The difference is the communication isn't on a constant/consistent basis and I no longer feel any guilt associated with wanting to spend time with other people.  Rather than feel burdened by our relationship, classifying it as a non relationship seemed to help us get along better.  Until last night.

Ex friend called me and for reasons we won't go into, though it was ok to approach me like an angry boyfriend questioning his girlfriends whereabouts and behavior.  Maybe he didn't see it as that, but that's how it came off to me.  My mind was completely boggled that he would think giving me attitude and questioning me was even an option after I declared our friendship over.  He is nowhere close to being in a position that would safely allow him to talk to me that way.  So I immediately told him so.  Not very kindly, I might add.  In short, I let him no that my whereabouts and the company I keep are no longer any concern of his and he has no right to question me or get mad about either.  The fact that he came at me the way he did just proves that continuing to have any kind of communication with him (in the hopes that one day I could possibly be comfortable/confident that things won't be as bad as they were enough to actually call him a friend again) was a mistake.

Through this experience I have learned that sometimes not only is it okay to let people go, it's actually necessary.  So unfortunately (or more likely, fortunately) I will not be continuing any communication with this person.  It's obvious that communication of any kind will result in something negative eventually.  I refuse to put myself through that any longer.  I have no desire to "work out" any problems we have.  It's just not that important to me.  Sorry but, we're done.  It's time for both of us to move on.

The Word of the Day

Today's word is panegyrize.
Pronounced PAN-i-juh-rahyz.
A verb.
Definition: 1. To eulogize; to deliver or write a panegyric about.
A noun.
Definition: 2. To indulge in panegyric; bestow praises.

I try not to panegyrize about natural hair whenever someone asks me about it, but I'm ever moved by its glory. :)

Resisting the Flat Iron

Today I am 9 months natural.  Ever since beginning this journey all I've been able to do is picture what my hair will look like when it finally touches my waist.  Having never been able to achieve long hair before, this is a very lofty goal for me and I am truly anxious to have hair that is the envy of all my friends and relatives.  Maybe that's shallow or materialistic, but I don't care.  I just know I want to keep growing my hair until I feel the need to cut it.  I've never had that problem before so hey.  It seems like a good problem to have to me.

Part of my regimen dictates that I air dry my hair whenever possible.  Since fully embracing my natural hair texture, I've learned about all the damage high temperatures can do to delicate hair strands and I know I need to avoid as much damage as I possibly can in order to grow my hair as long as I want to...  But my flat iron has been calling me!  Lately it seems like I've been hearing it whispering to me, begging me to turn it on, telling me how much I miss standing in front of the mirror, watching my hair transform.  It's very seductive.

But then, after listening to all the sweet nothings my flat iron says to me, I remind myself why I haven't used it in over six months.  In no particular order, this is what I tell myself every time I get tempted to crank up the heat just to see the little bit of length I've gained since this whole thing started:

1. My hair is unique.  There's no need to change it. We all know there is no other race of people on the planet with hair like Black people.  Why should I subject my delicate strands to 300+ temperatures, just for a temporary look that replicates the hair shared by just about every other race of people on the planet?  In short, why should I damage my hair to look like everyone else?
2. How many more times am I going to be tempted before I reach my goal?  I'm not even a full year natural yet.  According to my prediction, I won't reach my goal for at least another two years.  If I'm tempted to straighten my hair at 9 months, just imagine how bad the temptation will be at twelve, fifteen, eighteen, and twenty four months natural, when my hair is even longer than it is now!  If I start damaging my hair this early on, making it to my goal will be that much more difficult.
3. Straight hair would probably be foreign to me.  I'm so used to grabbing individual curls, twirling them around my fingers, stretching them out and watching them spring back, that I don't know how I would feel about straight hair.  It would feel and look funny to me.  I don't know how long I could even stand to keep my hair in that state.  And if I get tired of straight hair after a few days, was the damage worth it?
4. I would instantly lose the thickness and body that I've come to love about my natural hair.  When I had a relaxer, my hair was always thin and short.  Taking care of my natural hair has finally given me thicker, longer hair that I always wanted.  I know if I flat iron my hair, it will look almost just like it did when relaxed as far at density goes.  I think the look of thicker, fuller hair suits me much better.
5. I would have to avoid using my normal products.  Natural hair loves water and that's one of the things I personally love about it.  It was so cool finally being able to soak my hair whenever I wanted when I first went natural.  And with that in mind, I started using mostly water based products, in conjunction with heavy oils and butters.  Water based products would cause my hair to revert, and heavier products would just weigh my flat ironed hair down.  I don't like the idea of having to figure out what new products to use on my hair just to maintain a style that I would only wear for a week max.

All in all, even though I get tempted to straighten my hair, just to see how much progress I've made, I know it will be better for my hair in the long run if I just leave the heat alone.  At least until I reach my goal. :)  How do you resist the flat ironing temptation?  If you do flat iron your hair, occasionally or regularly, what would you like to add to the conversation? Leave your comments below. ^__^

My Very First Braid Out

So, last night I was twisting my hair up for work today and in the middle of doing my hair I decided to try something different and do a braid out instead.  I used Cantu Shea Butter Leave in and Blue Magic Coconut Oil Hair Conditioner to put a total of about 12 braids in my hair and took them out this morning.  Here's how I'm feeling about braid outs so far:

Compared to twist outs, braid outs take a long time to do and to take down. Because there are three strands instead of two, there's more work for your hands to do.  I don't like that aspect.  On the other hand, braids can't spring up the way twists can, so I get maximum stretch on my hair with braid outs, and that shows maximum length.  I do like that aspect.  As far as the pattern the two hair styles create, twist outs give me curls, while braid outs give me waves.  Both are nice, but I think I like the uniformity of the twist out look a little bit better.

All in all, I do like braid outs, but I think I'll save them for when my hair is a little bit longer and just stick with the trusty twist out for now. What do you think?

The Word of the Day

Today's word is appetence.
Pronounced AP-i-tuhns.
A noun.
Definition: 1. Intense desire; strong natural craving; appetite. 2. Instinctive inclination or natural tendency.
A verb.
Definition: 3. Material or chemical attraction or affinity.

Upon entering the kitchen I immediately scanned my surroundings looking for it. I spotted the pie sitting on a counter, its fresh-from-the-oven steam causing my eyes to widen.  My appetence for sweet potato pie was magnified three fold once the scent reached my nose. Happy Thanksgiving!

BOV Number 3: Hair Grease Experiment

Here's the pictures of the day post that shows the twist out results using just the hair grease.  Let me know what you think. :)